May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
