i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize