that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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