apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We're using joints as your birthday candles
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize