is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
