Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
