u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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