I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need to align my fucking chakras
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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