Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize