the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
