apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize