I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
