I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
