I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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