i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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