i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
