ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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