today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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