I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
