you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize