She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She's like a pop up book from hell.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
