I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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