i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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