direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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