Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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