jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
