she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm passing your future prison.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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