it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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