I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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