Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Mom said you looked used
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
