I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
