Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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