She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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