Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
