I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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