your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize