Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
love makes seman taste better
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
