There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
