I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
