Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
