I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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