plz talk dirty to me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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