Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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