If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
