there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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