Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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