I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
