Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
