So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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