With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
