so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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