It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
