spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize