Betty ford says i'm here all night
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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