cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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