pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
