Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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