i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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