so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
