Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
