Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
