This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
