we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
