dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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