nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
youre lurking in front of me
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
